Life is just too disappointing anymore...I may have friends, but they never call to see how I'm doing... I get a boyfriend and they don't give a flying fuck what I have to say or think... I'm just a loser. I want to die, but then too many people would ask "Hey, where's matt? I need to borrow some cash" or "hey, where's what's-his-face? I'm not doing these fucking dishes..." I wear my heart on my sleeve so people know how I really am, but they don't care... they never do. My resolution this year is to lose all feeling, and concept of emotion. Honestly, it's not getting me anywhere to have a heart and care what others have to say and think if nobody is willing to return the damn favor.

so, please, God, if you REALLY are out there... help me get my life in order... I'm tired of always hurting inside, I'm tired of nobody caring... I'm tired of this place... just take me back to the place I was before I was manifested with a human body... Nobody would miss me until they were broke, or if they wanted something... My life on this planet isn't purposeful anymore... just let me go to sleep and never wake up to feel this ... whatever it is that's eating me from the inside ... anymore... please god... just kill me so my suffering will stop.